Whirlwind

 

I’m a whirlwind inside of my head right now

And the butterflies in my stomach!

They need no urge to appear.

Their fluttering gives me life. It’s a sunshiny feeling, I swear

But then the brutish grey clouds eclipse my warm star of fantasy,

Their cold, cruel droplets of misery blur my vision,

I can feel them condense on my skin.

The last vestiges of my stability shivering.

It’s getting everywhere, it’s clogging my mind, clouding my reason

In torrents, overwhelming; my butterflies are terrified

And the butterflies know only too well –

They must rise above the clouds.

Can they?

They try so hard, they really do

They are capable.

But somehow, instead, just as they reach the silver line,

Crossed wires spark a flame.

Five words uttered viciously send them into a frenzy again,

And somehow, instead, they just get stuck in that whirlwind.

I’m afraid of the rain.

Flung away harshly, disoriented, those beautiful butterflies

They’re lost, in a daze.

And they’re broken, they’ve lost their wings

And they’ve lost that charm, that sparkle, that grace

And no longer

Do they give me life.

Advertisements

A Note To Routine Things

Dear Table,

I apologize dearly for how little I get to see you, your surface. I know it’s my fault that I rarely bother with cleaning you up. I really should place those stacks of books and piles of shirts elsewhere but I can’t bring myself to do it! You’re rather cluttered, yes, but hey- if I know exactly where everything I need is in that mess, it doesn’t count. Right?

“Accessible design is good design.” – Steve Ballmer.

Table, I’ve done you good design.

Continue Reading

It’s Raining

It’s raining. My side of the sky right now is grey, dark grey. It was orange and pink before. Actually, I can’t see much anymore because it’s foggy here, and raining pretty hard – my vision is blurry. It’s really cold and wet and I can feel the wind this time, it’s coming from the right side! Do you feel it too? Is there wind on your side? The clouds are almost pink and there’s crying lightning every other minute but I don’t hear it, there’s no thunder.. that’s strange

Oh god, I’ve managed to lock myself in the balcony again. I can’t get in! Hang on, it’s, like, jammed. Ugh.
Ah yes. Hello? Got in. You know, I tried playing the piano earlier this evening but I couldn’t hear myself, the rain was so loud! But it’s okay- favourite sounds here.

I’m sitting in my favourite place now and tracing the shaky, almost hesitant, path of the raindrops on the glass with my finger. It’s just drizzling now and I’m feeling nearly as weak as the rain sounds. I can see lights all over the city, there’s yellow and blue and red and white and pink and green and orange. That mall, I can actually see tiny people on the escalators through the glass facing me. There’s a woman getting out of her car on the ground floor. She’s going to have to run to her block- she’s covering her head with her dupatta! I don’t know why I’m cracking up. God I’m weird. Sorry.
The reflection of my fairylights on my window when I switch them on is so pretty! I’ll show you a picture. I could sit here forever, really. I love this weather so much.

My side of the sky is great, it’s comforting me today. How about yours?

image

image

image

I took these. Okay, I should probably go now.

Let’s do this when it rains again.

Night.