The sort of pain multiple well-known eateries have inflicted upon me in recent years is not even funny.
It started with Café Coffee Day.
A few years ago, we lunched and dined, breakfasted and snacked at CCD quite often. Being a vegetarian, with a dislike for the spicy potato filling of samosas, too many vegetables, and coffee (I found it too bitter lol, forgive the 11 year old me), nurturing a love for cheese, chocolate and baked eats (foodstuffs), about the only thing I ever ate there was this ‘Spinach, Corn and Cheese Super Sandwich’. I deify melted cheese, and my mum says I seem to like palak-containing food as a rule. And I suppose I had some sort of fascination with the brown stripes on the grilled slices of bread (the grilling machine at home didn’t do that :O). Spinach, Corn and Cheese and I maintained a faithful relationship that lasted several years, see, until one day, I was tricked.
They changed the bread. A beastly Subway (I don’t sub.) kinda long bread, and the cheese was solid for god’s sake, and there were no stripes, and it didn’t feel right to not have a sandwich cut across its diagonals. A sick mutation. And it was cold and chewy. The shock prevented me from eating there for around 2 years. I refused to touch their food. My mum gave the abomination another chance and tried convincing me it was quite fine, but no. Obviously, I should’ve listened to her then, because one notsofine rainy day, left with no other option, we had to eat out at CCD. And the bread was soft and fluffy, warm and lovely. I destroyed it. I can’t believe I missed out on 2 years of loveliness. I apologized, we got back together, and I love that sandwich again. Definitely try it.
Second perpetrator: CupCake Noggins. CCN is well-known in Bangalore as the site selling the best Red Velvet Cake in the city, along with California Pizza Kitchen, and rightly so. Moist, with a delicious creamcheese frosting, this cupcake’s never disappointed me, only delighted. Fortunately, it wasn’t this one that went missing. A chocolate cupcake with bits of Oreo embedded in this sweet green frosting (CCN cream is something specific) was my numero uno. Was, for over a year.
…Until one day, I was offended by certain friends who confessed to never having tasted CCN’s cupcakes and this outrageous display of ignorance necessitated a treat, and as we walked to the store, I passionately explained the satisfaction the Red Velvet and Oreo cupcakes brought to their consumer. The guy behind the counter calmly announced that the Oreo cupcake was no longer in production. Hadn’t been for over a month. He even went ahead and suggested that I try the chocolate cupcake with pink frosting instead. I went totally nuts and shamelessly condemned that cupcake. With the forced tone of a patient teacher explaining to a 4 year old that 1+2=3, he said, “It’s similar, ma’am. There’s just no Oreo, see?” I stared at him; didn’t he realise how wrong he was? Amused by my reaction, he asked us which cupcakes we’d finally decided on. The sympathetic, sorry friends calmed me down and asked me to stop glaring at the pink frosting (that usurper), and choose another one, before I could start off a rant as heartfelt as this one. While it’s true that I could’ve picked any cupcake as I adored nearly every single flavour anyway, my stupid brain obviously instructed all of me to have a crazy craving for this one Oreo cupcake it knew I wouldn’t get, ever. And would you believe it, the green-frosting cupcake’s back (I discovered last week), but without the Oreo. What.
Just one more incident, I promise you. This one’s a warning; it has left and will leave a larger number of individuals upset than the absence of striped bread and the wrong colour of frosting would. KFC. Your softies. Your (cheap) budget-friendly (Rs20), wonderful, marvelous, fabulous vanilla softies. Why? My softie needs were well-known, so one day, after an exam, at the counter:
Friend, ordering. “Two softies and a burger, please.”
Staff, smiling. *something inaudible*
Me, worried. “What’s he say?”
Friend, shocked. “No softies.”
Me, agonised. “They’re over?”
Friend, sympathetic. “They stopped making them.”
Staff, still smiling (but evilly).
Me, enraged. “WHAT. Are you serious? What’s the point of KFC?!”
Friend, moving on. “Two burgers, then, please.”
And I did not enjoy the burger, and I didn’t really want to eat it. But this boy had taken a break from his very annoying no-junk-food vow, and I wasn’t about to discourage this hiatus. I took the burger. What is the point of KFC for us vegetarians if there’s no softies?! A potato krisper? No, sorry. KFC, we’re done. I eat Subway cookies now. And if you buy 3 at once, you even save Rs 20 (which would’ve been enough to buy a softie, haha, sick.)
I think 823 words of harangue and warning is more than enough; I’ve vented all I needed to. Thank you for your patience. Prayers to ensure I never have to go through this again will be much appreciated.