Overwhelmed

When your mum says she’ll make whatever food you want for dinner and you’re so overwhelmed by the sheer choice that’s been given to you that you cannot even think of a single thing you’d like to eat.

When your best friend actually comes to your house to meet you after months of wanting to but being unable to  and you’re so overwhelmed by his very presence, his actual, physical presence, that you cannot even think of a single thing you wanted to tell him, and you don’t know what to do or talk about.

When your piano exam is finally done with after months of prep and you’ve been waiting for this day to happen because you really wanted to learn and focus on other songs since you dislike the exam pieces, and you’re free at last to learn and play whichever melody you want, but you’re so overwhelmed by this liberty, that you cannot remember the titles of any of your favourites, and your To-Master list just happens to go missing.

When your ever-growing To-Read and To-Watch lists are soon too long to fit in a single Memo each and the much-awaited vacations arrive at last, and you’re so overwhelmed by the sufficiency, excess even, of time in general, that you do not know which book or movie to read or watch first, so you actually put off starting any for some time.

When it’s your birthday and you’re allowed to buy whatever the heck you want, and you swear there were a million things you wanted the week prior to your birthday one, but you’re so overwhelmed by the idea of picking anything you want, and by the worry of bringing disgrace to yourself by purchasing something too fancy, expensive and paltry, that you choose something clichéd like a watch (and you already own 15 of those), and also receive 5 more watches that same birthday as a surprise.

That bad?

No. Because I love any food Aaie cooks, and I like hanging out and spending time doing nothing with my best. I like sitting at the piano, racking my brains for the notes of songs I learned 7 years ago, and I love watches, and I love the ones my parents and cousin bought me. Maybe at times, I don’t mind not knowing, not deciding, and I don’t mind others choosing for me. Sometimes, it’s nice.

The acceptable kind of indecision.

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